|Comedy ImagineOgrams from Radiance Solutions|
This is our first COMEDY set of ImagineOgrams
|Wang Jo Rosh
says that you should never
tie knots in your shoelaces in case you cant undo them
again and youll have to wear your shoes in bed.
It is a well-known fact said Dalai Alpaca
that many people, including Wang Jo Rosh,
have tried and failed to relax enough in bed
with their shoes still on to actually fall asleep.
The Querulous Inquirer pointed out that
The consideration of how one might take a bath with
ones shoes on seems to be being overlooked.
|Dalai Alpaca says that
"Soup can be incredibly dangerous when hot"
Laughing Giraffe says that
Turkeys would like to point out that :
thats quite another kettle of fish
Dalai says that
Go piss in the wind turns out to be crap advice, especially if youre stupid enough to piss in the wrong direction.
Dalai Alpaca says: Thats probably what gave rise to the saying in the first place.
sheets to the wind is pretty hard to do, coz you
havent got enough arms, even if you enlist a few
friends, and its even harder if youre
Confusion says :
Men who live in trees should not ignore bees.
Bees are very useful.
Inquirer asks :
Has anyone found a reason for wasps yet?
Would you like to adopt a persona?
Only 50p to register.
Costs of maintenance negligible.
|The Snurt says
"I can't seem to
get other people's
points of view
at all, they seem
all upside down
|Salvadore Dalai said
"I know what you mean -
everything looks back to front to me
and often twisted or falling out of shape too."
|Djindji the Genius Genie
bananas are better eaten inside out.
The Unraisonable Commentator Reports that :
You have to fight your way through the hexadwarfages in here to jump through corners into the next room, where things that you want to know about are happening.
Misdemedia Announcements :
Blah blah fishpaste had another facelift today but will appear as usual tomorrow reading the news on Whats it got to do with you anyway?
Mr Snodgrass meantime has sewn up his leaky underwear and will be able to present the weather as usual tonight.
Whether the weather ever presents or even represents him is another matter.
Astonished Announcer :
A Bigfoot came down from the mountains and raided our sons furry animal toy box. When questioned he said that he was looking for his other foot. Would any kindly grandmothers out there like to offer to knit him one?
A Big Knee
was seen yesterday stepping out of a flying saucer.
It seems he wanted to trade it in for a dinner
plate. His hair was standing up on end with
frustration by 6 oclock when all he had found by
that time was a porridge bowl, with a little bear still
attached to it. He said he would be quite happy to
adopt the little bear and take it with him to Vesuvimus,
but he really must insist on a decent sized plate in
order to get there.
Chris, my husband, says he was made to fly flying saucers when he grows up,
but he hasnt learnt to fly teacups yet, even ones without storms in them.
My dad has been flying teacups for years, but my mum only sometimes manages to catch them.
My mum used to be pretty fearsome with flyswatters but I havent observed this phenomenon
for years now, maybe because I dont live with them anymore.
We get on like a house on fire these days, maybe thats also coz I dont live with them anymore.
They live on an island in the Atlantic, right next to the sea, so whenever the house catches fire
they can spray it quickly with seawater to put the flames out.
Oops, Chris has taken off but crashed straight into the ceiling,
possibly because he used the incense dish instead of a saucer.
I bet hes feeling pretty incensed at having made a hole in the ceiling.
Never mind, the rain will stop our house catching on fire either.
Two members of the Cow ImaginOgram group
have commented that this page is udderly ridiculous.
It is reported that a bare faced liar was able to break his habit by wearing it backwards.
He said that the back of his head tended to feel rather cold and vulnerable though
especially as it couldnt see where he was going.
He was hoping to get better at this with practice
but it was getting so expensive replacing all the broken habits
that he needed a sponsor. Any offers?
|MONKEY BUSINESS TIMES FINANCIAL
Today we have the results of last weeks banana slanging boardroom episode.
It seems that company Gazoot and Cringe have lost 2 lawyers in the far upper reaches
of Bungeestan due to the erroneous directions sent by Broot and Clunk, who were being
held unanimously liable, and had agreed to pay 400 bananas in compensation,
The trouble is that things got a bit hot handed and the bananas were flung around the room
by all parties, staining the floor, walls, and even the ceiling a disgusting yellow.
They have now been asked to increase their payment but make it in crates
of seafood this time. We suggest that anyone attending wear overalls
and expect things to end in a stink.
|The Goofer Snurt asked
Why is there so much shit in the world?
The Quirkey Turkeys replied that
It is because of incontinental drift.
|The Querulous Inquirer
wants to know whether a unanimouse
is the same size as other mice.
We think it might be a little bit bigger
as it has to stand the weight of everybody at once.
Misdemedia reports that
there is one space being who still has the biggest regret of them all.
Though told many times not to interfere with humans, he couldnt resist helping
the poor guy who was shivering and hungry in his cave
by showing him how to rub two sticks together in a bit of dry straw, could he,
and now look how theyve burnt everything up!
He knows nobody saw him when he tiptoed out of the spaceship, or heard him
whisper. He even knows that the guy never broke his promise not to tell,
but its pretty obvious really, and he can hardly live with the guilt.
Still, its gotta be nothing compared to how the one who came up with
the idea of humans in the first place must feel. And how about the one
who came up with the idea of push-me-pull-yous.
I mean they couldnt even have sex so they didnt last long did they.
Haw, haw he feels a bit better now.
Not your everyday Nature Notes
Once upon a
time when the Zorantics were up to their antics, and the
kings were all up to their kinks, there was born a young
toad (well he couldnt be old, could he), who was
told that he should always be careful not to explode,
especially in the faces of passers-by. Trouble is
when Guy Fawkes night comes around, the toads get so
excited by the very idea of politics and anarchy and
revolution, that they just cant help
themselves. You can hear them going of for weeks
around that time of year all over the country.
Sometimes they squirt kids too, with little bits of
colour from their skins, so they grow up never quite
forgetting either the explosions or the stuff about Guy
Fawkes, but they never understand why the two go together
because toads cant talk, at least not to humans.
|The cat has caught my sense of humour.
After months of not wanting to play at all
anymore with his sister, hes suddenly come out
of his shell, even though hes not quite tortoise-shell,
just white and ginger.
the cows have come home to lay golden eggs at once.
The day of the cabbages, now that the triffids have gone.
And tomorrow is the day of the groundhog - at last.
Mrs Owl : How Now Brown Cow
Mr Owl : Im not a Cow! Wtf have you been eating?
Mrs Owl : GM mice n rats thats where its at these days.
Get your dose right here smartface.
Alpaca says that
"We ought to be on the lookout for zigzags
They are incredibly useful things,
but people keep stealing them
and hiding them under mountains,
where they can fit in unnoticed
because of all the peaks and valleys.
|The farmyard fish have much
wisdom to impart -
we just have to tickle it out of them -
- the jellyfish might have somethng useful to say too
instead of just "Wobble wobble to you."....
... so might all the other wonderful sea cretures
- spiders against capitalism -
The glutinous framed turbo-frogs are chasing all the hexadwarfiges
that have been hiding under those corners for so long.
Now might be the chance to jump through into another version of yourself.
Once up, three down. Once down, three up.
So whichever way you start you end up tripling time every jump,
until youre going fast enough to switch time zones.
Infinite diagonal concurrence has occurred at the precise point in the universe
that will cause mimetic spongling to be transmitted to all sectors,
and Im afraid that your porridge is bound to become affected,
in fact it might become quite irrational.
Your baked beans will have to be re-scaped after the event
by the slack-jawed architects themselves.
|You can play umbilical bingo
between spaceships on the war to Vesuvimus.
Just be careful your elastic straps dont pull you inside out.
You know that the umbilicus can suddenly do this if under too much pressure.
As for tunnelling to the centre of the earth, we have just the service for you.
What's the point of not having fun in life?
Do come and see our anecdotages next
(they include reader provocation)
or our tea drinking society page
for more Wisdumb & Twit
|MOON DANCER||DANCING GARDENER
from our Back to The Garden website
including community sustainability
and global meditation link-ups
|Thou shalt wear trousers, but they shall fall half down to teach humility over arrogance.|
Some relevant Articles:
Breathing to Balance Earth Grounding
and Universal Source Connection
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